99, 98, 97, 96 ... or "Pain is the gift that nobody wants."

Ninety-nine passed by with little or no discomfort. I did have some post-Bikram gas pains though which forced me to gulp down a couple handfuls of Tums. That stuff's nasty too, but it works. One thing I've noticed about post-Bikram class is I have to force myself to eat. The hunger is not there for about 6 hours after class and even then, I have to psych myself up to make a salad. However, I am thirsty, so I drink copious amounts of water--an act that has never been a problem for me at all.

Class 98 was not fun. Not at all. I was thirstier than usual even though I drink more than enough water when not in class. The attempts to quell my thirst with breathing (which is what Bikram suggests students do before hitting the bottle), weren't successful at all, so I was sucking down water during the floor portion of the class. Then, the pesky lower back pain on my right side just above my hip resurfaced during the final savasana. However, I think that has more to do with how I sit during the day and where I sit--on a couch that doesn't provide much lumbar support. The thing is, I need a proper desk and one of them fancy Aeron chairs that's made from Aeron virgins. Then, my back issues will disappear. But, before I can obtain these necessary objects, I need to get a job. Believe me, I'm trying but to no avail. And, of course, I can't get my unemployment & financial woes out of my head when I'm in class. It ain't gonna happen no matter how hard I try.

Number 97 made me feel old and rickety. Jessica taught this class and while I was in this pose, she said something that still resonates with me to this day and it's something I'll never forget: "Pain is the gift that nobody wants." If you feel pain, that means you're alive (duh) and your body is telling you something. In this instance, I imagine that Jessica was alluding to how fucking much your arms hurt during this particular pose--like your arms are gonna snap in two with blood and ick spraying everywhere. By the way, I suck shit at Lotus pose. The single leg poses I can do without a hitch, but the double leg like the picture? Nope. I can maybe lift my gams up about 4 inches but that's it. It's still not as difficult as this pose or this one. I find it hard to believe the woman demo'ing Half-Moon in the photo was smiling. I'll bet she has some sort of epidural plugged into her back helping her get through it all.

But, with the way I'm going, this will be me in about 20 years. Hooker boots and all.

When I woke up this morning, I felt the best I've felt in months. My lower-back didn't hurt and my knees didn't creak at all. Also, my vision wasn't as blurry as it is most mornings. No Ambien hangover, no wishing I were somewhere OR someone else. Strange. I ate my Greek yogurt with home-made granola and slurped down coffee doused with the best stuff on Earth. Then, after a couple of hours, I donned my yoga apparel and moseyed on over to the studio. While getting ready in the ladies' locker room, I overheard two young women bitching about how much they hated the new Land Rover. And, how the new Rolexes aren't all that. Seriously, my eyes are still hurting from all the eye rolling I did during that 10 minute conversation. Sure I could've left, but why? These gals provided me with GREAT material! I could go on and on about what they were griping about, but it would just depress the shit out you. But trust me when I say this: The rich are different than us.

Onto to number 96. I had a good class. Very good. Some poses I sat out but for the most part, the poses that have been vexing me in the past, I could do. And, more importantly, there was no slurping water or searing back pain. My back felt strong & bendy during it all. I even laughed a bit when I knocked my neighbor's paw during this pose.

The best of the class? When the instructor farted during an explanation then admitted to it. Totally made my day.