Pimples & puke

I don't like it rough.

No, pervs, I'm not talking about sex. Duh. I'm talking about Bikram and today was particularly rough. I had a low-grade headache when I woke up and no amount of coffee, healthy food or water was going to put the kibosh on it. Even Tylenol couldn't touch it so I decided to experiment with the Bikram adage that it cures all that ails you.

Big mistake.

I could barely concentrate during the opening breathing exercise. My ass and thighs were squeezed tight like a frickin' snare drum and my spine was stretched to damn ceiling, but that didn't help. It just made me more achy. Half-Moon? Forget it. I felt like a scarecrow with a pole stuck up my ass. Lovely. Awkward Pose was, well, awkward. Sit back in the chair? Only if someone hands me a an actual chair to sit on AND a half-naked Cuban (man, not cigar) brings me a cold martini. The only two poses of the standing series I did a half-way decent job at were Standing Bow and Balancing Stick. Both looked a lot like the photos I posted--comes from having a strong back & legs--and squeezing the crap out of every muscle in my body to keep from falling on my face.

As for the floor series--forgettable. Being face down on sweaty mat forced me to go to my happy place, until we got to Camel Pose, that's when the urge to puke all over the room really hit me. As my eyes looked for the back wall, the bile started to rise in my throat and I had to force it down the way a kid forces down liver & onions for the first time. Gross. The rest of class flew by and I high-tailed it out of there without refunding all over the studio. 'Twas a good day in that respect.

However, that all changed when I got home. Let's just say it's a good thing my apartment is on the first floor AND that puke on hardwood is not necessarily a bad thing. That's what those disinfecting wipes are for--and open windows to help get rid of the smell. Today would be a whole lot different if I had some sort of carpeting. Puke on a shag carpet? I wanna puke thinking about how to clean it up.

Another nasty side effect of Bikram are pimples. For me, these are a mystery because I've been blessed with good skin--you know, clear, line-free with the occasional breakout. I feel for those folks who have to buy Proactiv by the trough-load because they have a mini-version of the Great Divide on their visages. But, here I am: Zit Central and it ain't pretty. Guess it's a good thing that unemployment is my lifestyle choice at the moment because I'd probably get arrested for being in public looking like this. Also, the fact that it's still too cold out to wear short sleeves, let's not even go there.