I have tree trunks for arms.
This is the first thing I notice during the deep breathing pose, or Ardha Chandrasana with Pada-Hastasana, Half-Moon Pose.
Great. Body part number 200 I need to work on, I thought to myself while trying to shake the sweat out of my eyes--an act that doesn't work as well as it does in cartoons.
My arms were stretched above my head, hands and wrists fused together and elbows locked, when I noticed the that while my arms somewhat bulbous, I do have traces of awesome biceps beneath it all. So, I made a mental note to myself to start doing push-ups, triceps dips, and push-me, pull-yous to tighten 'em up.
Today's tough pose was Balancing Stick or Tuladandasana.
For some reason, I had this image in my head while I was attempting to balance on one leg. Why, I don't know. So, for a brief moment, I was preening on the ice during the short program at the Olympics in Boogerglob, in the former-Yugoslavia, in my blue-screen blue sparkly get-up and waiting for Coach Inge to use her Eastern-bloc telepathy for any last-minute instructions. The music starts and I'm off, spinning, gliding and barefoot? Back to reality. Arms stretched (gotta start on those arm exercises macht schnell), steps forward with straight knees and ... fall on my ass. Now, that's classy. Seriously though, I'm glad I didn't cut one during this pose or any other pose for that matter because that would've been unlady like and we all know how concerned I am about maintaining my lady status.
Navette was the instructor again today and she's awesome. Very encouraging and cool, unlike a couple other Bikram yoga instructors I've encountered in the past. Today's class was a mixed-bag of folks working at different levels which is always refreshing. There is nothing like a yoga snob. You know the type: They practice constantly (hey good for them-really) and because of that, they tend to take on a holier-than-thou attitude which, when you think about it, goes against the basic tenets of yoga.
Actually, I've seen this in many sports/activities I've participated in throughout the years and while I completely understand the being the best one can be concept, I don't get the dismissive attitude towards those not as accomplished.
Especially in Chicago.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Summer colds. July 20, 2009
I woke up this morning feeling slightly under the weather--headache-y, stuffed-up, ooky--the whole ball of horrors. To give you a better idea, I felt like a rodent carcass the cat scarfed down after finding it in under the front porch, then puked it up on your clean laundry.
It didn't make me feel any better when I told a friend about my current physical condition, without missing a beat he said something along the lines of "Ewww, don't come near me. I don't need that shit." Quelle charmante--his remark was about as compassionate as a genital herpes outbreak before a first date--not that I know anything about such a dilemma.
My summer cold and his insensitive remarks didn't stop me from going to yoga this morning. I've often heard that Bikram is good for what ails you.
Day 2.
Early morning yoga is great because there ain't a lot of human activity on the streets. Except homeless folks and power-walkers. I didn't get any unsolicited fat ass remarks either which is good because I'm all out of snappy comebacks.
I swear I saw Tracy Morgan this morning, however. Not in class, but on the street.
As for the actual class, I didn't have it in me this morning. Very tired but I gave it my all and it is true: Bikram is good for what ails you. After class, I felt immediately better and not as foggy. Now, I wouldn't go to yoga if I had the swine flu or bronchitis, but for a wee cold? Sure, why not?
It didn't make me feel any better when I told a friend about my current physical condition, without missing a beat he said something along the lines of "Ewww, don't come near me. I don't need that shit." Quelle charmante--his remark was about as compassionate as a genital herpes outbreak before a first date--not that I know anything about such a dilemma.
My summer cold and his insensitive remarks didn't stop me from going to yoga this morning. I've often heard that Bikram is good for what ails you.
Day 2.
Early morning yoga is great because there ain't a lot of human activity on the streets. Except homeless folks and power-walkers. I didn't get any unsolicited fat ass remarks either which is good because I'm all out of snappy comebacks.
I swear I saw Tracy Morgan this morning, however. Not in class, but on the street.
As for the actual class, I didn't have it in me this morning. Very tired but I gave it my all and it is true: Bikram is good for what ails you. After class, I felt immediately better and not as foggy. Now, I wouldn't go to yoga if I had the swine flu or bronchitis, but for a wee cold? Sure, why not?
A new challenge. July 18, 2009
I've been in a funk as of late. A major funk. For a long time, I wasn't sure I was going to get out of it without either spending a great deal of cash on material things like Balenciaga handbags or--and I hate this term but I can't think of anything better at the moment--doing something huge to "feed my soul" like living in the town of Imlil in the Atlas Mountains for a year or so.
I guess this is a typical phase for a woman my age to go through, however.
While most of my ilk do things like get plastic surgery or dump their husbands for Caleb, their son's college roommate, I work part-time as a copy editor for a trade pub and applaud myself for not needing the Botox needle--at least for another 10 years or so. Chalk it up to the lead blanket I wear as my daily sunscreen and the copious amounts of water I drink daily. Yes, my skin looks good, but that's just not enough.
But, something was missing: a physical challenge. I've been a fan of Bikram yoga for years. I discovered it about 12 years ago in LA and took classes from time to time. When I moved to the city, I got back into it but it wasn't easy since I was older and not as physically strong as I was back in the days of yore. So, I'm working towards doing 100 classes, but not consecutively since work and Bikram Yoga Andersonville's schedule are not conducive to me doing 100 classes in 100 days. Not at the moment, anyway.
My plan is write about each class and the adventures both pre- and post-class. Most days will probably be dull, but I'm hoping for some excitement from time to time.
Like today, for example.
Day 1. July 18.
These pleasant late-winter days have brought many folks out and about on North Clark street in Andersonville. As a result, the sidewalks are packed with errand runners, outside cafe patrons, and people just strolling down the street. This makes sidewalk navigation difficult. At one point, I had to pass this slow-moving gay couple who took up most of the sidewalk with their little dogs and width-of-the-sidewalk handholding. And, as I passed them, my large yoga bag accidently brushed up against one of the young men's arms. I profusely apologized, saying that my bag was too large for crowds. With that, the Kate Gosselin-coiffed one said somewhat sotto voce, "Well, not only is her bag large, but so is her ass." Fortunately, I have dog hearing and after he uttered those snippy words, I turned on my heel and said, "You know, for a segment of the population that is screaming for more tolerance and respect, you certainly don't practice what you so loudly preach. Asshole." At last glance, he was desperately trying pick up his jaw and dignity off of the ground.
When I arrived at the studio, I was pretty lit up from my confrontation with those two pissy queens, but, I quickly got over it after I secured my spot in the 100 degree room and got into my Savasana or Dead Pose (that's not me in the picture). It's not as easy as one would think because you have to shift your breathing from the in-through-the-nose-and-out-through-the-mouth method to in-through-the-nose-and-out-through-the-nose method. Try it, in the heat, without moving at all. All I can say is good luck!
As we progressed through the 26 poses, I had major issues with only two. This Head to Knee Pose, also known as Dandayamana - JanuShirasana. Notice that both knees are locked-out solid. You're not in that pose if either knee is bent even slightly. The other looks easy, but um, no it's not. Ardha Chandrasana with Pada-Hastasana, or Half Moon Pose, is meant to stretch you from the inside out while maintaining an even breath, tight muscles and straight legs. It's super fun especially when I was about to pass out, and it was only pose number two. Oh, and there was one gent directly in front of me who almost showed me a full-moon pose. Not something I wanted to see on an empty stomach or from someone with whom I am not intimate.
When class was finished, I moseyed on into the locker room and made the mistake of asking one of my fellow classmates the name of the instructor. Here's her response: "Um, I am not into making friends in this class..." To which I replied, "Tell me something, where in that question did I state that I wanted to be your BFF? Please, I'd like to know if I need to work on my subliminal language skills." (See, I was still reeling from the pissy queen encounter--all of that sweating, stretching and mooning did shit for my inner-yogini.) Wide-eyed, she responded, "Oh, I don't know." Smiling, I said, "That's all you needed to say."
With that, I changed out of sweaty t-shirt and limped out of the studio.
The instructor's name is Navette, by the way. And, I didn't have to be anyone's BFF to get that information.
I guess this is a typical phase for a woman my age to go through, however.
While most of my ilk do things like get plastic surgery or dump their husbands for Caleb, their son's college roommate, I work part-time as a copy editor for a trade pub and applaud myself for not needing the Botox needle--at least for another 10 years or so. Chalk it up to the lead blanket I wear as my daily sunscreen and the copious amounts of water I drink daily. Yes, my skin looks good, but that's just not enough.
But, something was missing: a physical challenge. I've been a fan of Bikram yoga for years. I discovered it about 12 years ago in LA and took classes from time to time. When I moved to the city, I got back into it but it wasn't easy since I was older and not as physically strong as I was back in the days of yore. So, I'm working towards doing 100 classes, but not consecutively since work and Bikram Yoga Andersonville's schedule are not conducive to me doing 100 classes in 100 days. Not at the moment, anyway.
My plan is write about each class and the adventures both pre- and post-class. Most days will probably be dull, but I'm hoping for some excitement from time to time.
Like today, for example.
Day 1. July 18.
These pleasant late-winter days have brought many folks out and about on North Clark street in Andersonville. As a result, the sidewalks are packed with errand runners, outside cafe patrons, and people just strolling down the street. This makes sidewalk navigation difficult. At one point, I had to pass this slow-moving gay couple who took up most of the sidewalk with their little dogs and width-of-the-sidewalk handholding. And, as I passed them, my large yoga bag accidently brushed up against one of the young men's arms. I profusely apologized, saying that my bag was too large for crowds. With that, the Kate Gosselin-coiffed one said somewhat sotto voce, "Well, not only is her bag large, but so is her ass." Fortunately, I have dog hearing and after he uttered those snippy words, I turned on my heel and said, "You know, for a segment of the population that is screaming for more tolerance and respect, you certainly don't practice what you so loudly preach. Asshole." At last glance, he was desperately trying pick up his jaw and dignity off of the ground.
When I arrived at the studio, I was pretty lit up from my confrontation with those two pissy queens, but, I quickly got over it after I secured my spot in the 100 degree room and got into my Savasana or Dead Pose (that's not me in the picture). It's not as easy as one would think because you have to shift your breathing from the in-through-the-nose-and-out-through-the-mouth method to in-through-the-nose-and-out-through-the-nose method. Try it, in the heat, without moving at all. All I can say is good luck!
As we progressed through the 26 poses, I had major issues with only two. This Head to Knee Pose, also known as Dandayamana - JanuShirasana. Notice that both knees are locked-out solid. You're not in that pose if either knee is bent even slightly. The other looks easy, but um, no it's not. Ardha Chandrasana with Pada-Hastasana, or Half Moon Pose, is meant to stretch you from the inside out while maintaining an even breath, tight muscles and straight legs. It's super fun especially when I was about to pass out, and it was only pose number two. Oh, and there was one gent directly in front of me who almost showed me a full-moon pose. Not something I wanted to see on an empty stomach or from someone with whom I am not intimate.
When class was finished, I moseyed on into the locker room and made the mistake of asking one of my fellow classmates the name of the instructor. Here's her response: "Um, I am not into making friends in this class..." To which I replied, "Tell me something, where in that question did I state that I wanted to be your BFF? Please, I'd like to know if I need to work on my subliminal language skills." (See, I was still reeling from the pissy queen encounter--all of that sweating, stretching and mooning did shit for my inner-yogini.) Wide-eyed, she responded, "Oh, I don't know." Smiling, I said, "That's all you needed to say."
With that, I changed out of sweaty t-shirt and limped out of the studio.
The instructor's name is Navette, by the way. And, I didn't have to be anyone's BFF to get that information.
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