Today, we had a fab new guest teacher, Anne, who is visiting from Ann Arbor for the weekend. I find it helpful to have a new teacher every now and then--gives me a new perspective and it's always good to learn different tricks and tips. The only tip I didn't appreciate was her insistence that we all "grab a piece of the mirror so we can watch ourselves in our poses." See, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. HATE IT. I always have, I always will. I'm quite deft at avoiding mirrors. I could teach a class, go on a lecture tour, preach at symposiums about how to time your gaze perfectly so you don't even see your shadow in a wall of mirrors. It's an art form and part-science, and I'm the best at it.
Is that a good skill to have? Who knows. It's worked for me quite well--until today. I tried to look at my toes in the mirror, but it only worked for so long. I couldn't concentrate and panic was starting to set in. How the hell was I going to get through the act of looking at myself in the mirror without going into convulsions?
Humor.
It dawned on me as my ass hovered above the imaginary chair in Awkward Pose-- I have a great sense of humor--fucking use it, Pud.
Suddenly, class got a whole lot more fun and interesting. During Standing Bow Pulling the Crap Out of Your Hips, Hamstrings and Shoulders, I spied not one, but two asses emanating from my form. Quelle charmante. Always a good look for those in the cheap seats--they don't even need binoculars.
When it was time for the floor version of the above mentioned pose, the Benny Hill Theme was playing in my head to help squelch the desire to let one rip. Yeah, I know, so un-lady-like. I fart. Who doesn't? Time to get over yourself if you're offended.
My wicked sense of humor keeps me from falling ass-over-tea-kettle into the pseudo-cult that is Bikram yoga. I do it for the challenge, the stillness, the sweat, the unpleasant body odor, the GREAT SKIN, the fearless farting and so much more. I don't do it to find my center, to bend & stretch for world peace or to compete. I take Bikram seriously--to a point. I've learned in my quarter decade on this planet *ahem*, that life is too short to take 85 percent of what life throws at you so seriously--especially something like yoga. Can't wait for the "you suck Julia, yoga is the only thing worth living for" comments on this post because it will be oh so fun to think of new and different ways to tell someone to lighten the fuck up.
If you can't laugh at yourself, then what's the point?
Seems appropo.
i hate mirrors too but have learned to love all the imperfections i have to offer. saddle bags, cellulite, close to varicose veins and all. love it or leave it is my motto, and i don't plan on going anywhere.
ReplyDeletep.s. love your play on words with the title.
ReplyDeletedamn the mirrors but thank the rapture for those loud fans to block the farts.
ReplyDeletehilarious as usual.
ReplyDeleteawkward pose? it's very strange that bikram has re-named postures. of course a lot of people call that one "chair pose" which is not the literal translation of utkatasana. utkata (उत्कट, utkaṭa) meaning "wild" or "frightening" or "above the usual" or "intense" or "gigantic" or "furious" or "heavy".
ReplyDeletepeople shouldn't be farting in class if they refrain from eating 3-4 hours before yoga begins. when i'm teaching & someone has bad gas, it really sucks for me. i'm sure it sucks for other students, too. it's rude, actually. especially in a hot enclosed space.
on mirrors-i hate them also. however, sometimes students have no idea that they are incapable of sitting up straight, so if you look in the mirror, you "get" it. but i think that yoga should not be done with mirrors. it blows the concentration.
"yoga citta vritti nirodah"
yoga is the cessation of the fluxuations of the mind. this is not possible with mirrors & bad gas.