It's been about two and a half hours since number 94 ended, and I'm still not hungry. I've been pounding water like there's no tomorrow but hunger has evaded me since I woke up this morning. Around 7am, I forced myself to eat non-fat Greek yogurt, homemade granola and coffee with the best stuff on Earth stirred in.
Knowing how my body works, I managed to down a grapefruit and one of these crazy muffins made with pure pumpkin puree instead of oil and eggs before my system went into full melt-down mode. When that happens, it'll take the strength of Georges St. Pierre to keep me from heading over to the local Jewelito to load up on DoubleStuf Oreos and chocolate milk. It just proves that an eating disorder never truly goes away--it's always there--kinda like, oh, I don't know, herpes and being an asshole. I will eat something soon. I promise.
After class, I struck up a conversation with two very nice women who have just started doing Bikram. One was around my age and the other, I'm guessing, was a bit younger. Somehow body image came up and I mentioned how American women are expected to be a size 0 no matter what. She could be the smartest women around but if she's over a size 0, she's seen as unworthy of just about everything life has to offer. Recently, I read an article about how most American women would rather suffer from severe depression than be obese. We have to wonder about a society that puts so little value on a woman's intelligence, and more on the size of her thighs. Utter bullshit. I've witnessed this horrid behaviour with close friends and family members, and I don't put up with it anymore.
My self-image waivers from time to time too. A friend of mine recently accused me of having a poor self-image, which I fervently denied but he's right. I do. My attempts to make up for it by being smart & funny only have a limited success. It's a daily struggle--even for us smart women who know our worth, but are bombarded with Madison Avenue's message at every turn. All I can say is those who write us off because our chests aren't concave, are missing out.
But, I digress... where was I? Oh yes, my two new pals I met. One was wondering if you can lose weight with Bikram and I believe it's possible. Some experts claim one can burn between 800 and 1500 calories per session--depending on body weight. I used to obsess about it, but now how Bikram makes me feel physically and mentally is more important than whether or not my ass is getting smaller. It will shrink with time and by doing other activities like walking or running. Sure, there are a couple of women in class who look at the more zaftig women sideways, but they seem really sad to me.
So, on that note, I think I'll mosey on into the kitchen and rustle up some grub.
For you. Thanks.
hilarious and down to earth at the same time. keep writing.
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