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Movin' On Up--Over to WordPress

Yep, I'm moving this blog on over to WordPress-
Check it out: http://mccrabass.wordpress.com/
It'll be a mixture of Bikram posts and other things I feel like yap-yappin' about.
See you there!

Southern-Fried Yoga

So, I'm spending some quality time below the Mason-Dixon, specifically in Savannah. I thought I'd mix it up with the Southern folk and work on my slow-as-ass-sludge stroll, my lip-tripping drawl and see how well I do spending time in one of the Reddest states of the Union.

So far, so good.

I've met some great people, witnessed the Lilly Pulitzer/tattoo combo on a few folks and it does work--sort of. Then there's the food. Amazing. Yum. Puts some Chicago cuisine to shame. What I'm most amused by is how sloooow everything is here. People take their sweet ol' time doing the same tasks I do at a break-neck speed. At first this phenom was unsettling to me, but this slowness has made me realize that some things are not worth rushing and it's ok to sit and not do a damn thing for a moment except be in that moment. Huh. Interesting.... Bikram yoga is all about 'being in the moment,' so it looks like I may have learned something during the sweat, stretch and tears.

Ain't that just so damn precious? No, not that Precious. The other precious. No, not that one either. Do I really need to explain what I mean by precious? No? Good.

Yesterday, I checked out Bikram Yoga Savannah and wow--what a beautiful studio. Huge, airy, clean, comfortable--are the best words describe it. Welcoming too. How many studios/gyms/work out places offer free tampons, Witch Hazel wipes and other wonderful sundries? The studio also has those wonderful Kulae yoga mats for sale along with a healthy selection of Lululemon yoga clothes. Plus, water -- both plain and the coconut variety. It's allll good.

What about the actual class?

The room is very similar to my home studio, but Andersonville's is much larger. That makes total sense since there are more students and more classes than the Savannah studio. The instructor, Chris, looked like he was carved out of cream cheese--and I mean that in a good way. There weren't many differences between the instruction I've had in Chicago and Chris' instructions, except during the first part of this pose, where students are encouraged to loosen up their legs by bending their knees while their hands are on the floor in front of them. Once you feel warmed up, or when the instructor tells you to, it's posture time. Then, in round two, you're to go directly into the pose without warming up your legs again. That's not how it's done at the Savannah studio, or with Chris. Perhaps it's de riguer here, I don't know yet--I'll have to take another class with another instructor before I leave to see what he/she does. It's not a big deal, I just wasn't used to it.

During this series, we didn't turn to the left side of the room. Instead, we got off our mats and did these poses on the carpet--in our bare feets--a move that's verboten everywhere else I've practiced.

As I venture out for more of the Savannah good life, I'll leave you with a great tune by Savannah's native son. I look forward to my next round of Bikram here, even if they don't need a heated studio, they can just practice out in the parking lot. Yes, it's that brutally hot here.

Havin' Fun With No Money

Bikram is the only thing that makes sense in my life at the moment. It's what's saving me from jumping off the Sears Tower or putting on my lead bathing suit and going for a dip in the Chicago River. Everything else is completely out of control--no job, no prospects and no money. I'm on the wrong side of 40 and have nothing to show for it and that's just wrong. It seems that the harder I try to make things better in my life, the worse things get. This is not true with my Bikram practice. Seems that the harder I try, the better at it I get.

Case in point. I rock at this pose. You're probably thinking to yourself, "What the shit, Julia! That doesn't look tough at all! I can do that in my beer-induced sleep!" OK. G'head. Try it, not once, but four times without bending your legs, straightening your elbows or tipping your hips to one side. Then, after you catch your breath, we'll talk and I'll watch you dine on some crow.

Also, I've noticed some significant changes in my body. I look longer. I can't explain it--I just do. And leaner. During one of my nanosecond glances in the mirror today, I noticed these changes and was caught off-guard. Odd. I've also altered my diet quite a bit so the whole 'looking leaner' part ain't a huge surprise I guess. Actually, it's the stress I'm under that has helped to alter my diet--I don't want to eat because I'm not hungry and honestly, I can't quite afford it. So, I'm only eating about one and a half times a day. However, I am drinking copious amounts of coffee and water so that helps me feel full.

Another benefit, and I've mentioned this many a-time before, is how incredible my skin looks. See, I've been blessed with good skin. All of the women in my family have beautiful skin. Guess it's safe to say we're natural beauties. Bikram just makes it look that much better. I don't go out on the town that often but when I do, I don't need a lot of makeup. Just some mascara, a little eyeliner and some great, reddish lipstick on my pout.

Nice to know those Scottish/Northern Brit Isles genes are doing their fucking job. Lord knows my emotional being ain't doing shit for me.

Side note: My favorite Bikram yogini, Lauren, still hasn't given birth. However, she has 'dropped' since the last time I saw her. So, I'm hoping I won't see her in class tomorrow, and I mean that in the nicest possible way. This is for you, new mom!

Breathe & Try Like Hell to Release

First, before I get into today's shenanigans, I gotta give props to my fellow Bikram yogini, Lauren. She's been pregnant for nine months & some change, and she showed up at class today. She looks amazing and did all of the poses--even the ones adjusted for pregnant women--with no problem. The above pix is from a few days ago, but who cares! Go Lauren & bebeh!

Now, onto Julia's Bikram World. Meh. It stopped spinning today. In fact, it's hurtling through space and will hopefully be caught up in one of them thar black holes the Jesus freaks say don't exist. My concentration was in the shitter due to the current unpleasantness I'm experiencing. I tried to let it all go in the studio, but I couldn't. Chilling out in Savasana didn't help either. (My goodness--that photo looks like it's of a cult that's just downed some poison & is waiting for the Mother Ship to take them home.)

With each deep breath, my anxiety grew and eventually, my stomach began to ache. This is not the physical condition one wants to be in when doing any type of exercise, but I pushed through. What else was I gonna do? Melt into a puddle onto the floor? Oh HELL no. What's the point of giving up when you're already in the room? Might as well just go with the flow! This mindset worked--sort of.

By this pose, I resembled someone who's pregnant with twins because of the stomach pains. I didn't touch my water because that would only make it worse, so I relied on that patience I'm known for, and breathed my way through the pain.

All was quiet in the dome during this one. The pain had subsided considerably and I was able to finish my practice without wincing. However, my mind was still reeling over the mess that is my life.

Somethings can't be helped.

A side note: Today in 1958, Frank Zappa graduated from high school. This is for his fans. And for the woman in class today who had a fucking RAGING case of athlete's foot. Next time honey, please stay the fuck home.

Kickin' It Up a Notch

I figured out what's missing from my Bikram yoga practice: Running. Yep, running. I'm not getting into shape as quickly as I would like by just doing Bikram so it's time to amp things up. Starting tomorrow morning, I'll start crawling/loping/jogging/running again. My feet feel healthy as does my back so I'm ready.

I've been a sorta-runner on and off for years now, and I do enjoy it very much. It's difficult, frustrating and tiring--just like yoga. However, it gets the heart beating quicker and is better for "leaning one down" than any other exercise out there. Plus, I dig the idea of beating my body up by jogging and then going to yoga to stretch everything out again. The plan is to do Bikram everyday, and crawl/lope/jog/run about 3-5 times a week.

Start slow--that's the plan. My eating will have to change once again, but that's fine. I don't fear change at all--just clowns, carnies, lentils, tofu and Chico's. Perhaps I'll see our disgraced former governor jogging too, but he's a little busy these days, see. He lives in my 'hood and I've had the pleasure of witnessing him pickin' 'em up and puttin' 'em down a few times down my street. He looked very uncomfortable but his hair didn't--even in the light breeze. I was mesmerized. Still am at times too--when I need to calm the screaming in my soul, I think of Blago's hair--the stillness of it. The peace.

Reminds me of how I find stillness and peace in my yoga practice.

But for some odd reason, all of this Blago talk reminded me of this great tune.

Uniboobage Meets the Wardrobe Malfunction

What a suck shit of a day.

First, I let some insensitive, shallow dolts on the Internets get to me, which made me angry. That anger wasn't gone by the time I got to yoga. I kept thinking about how so much of this society is about flash over substance, and how damaging that attitude is toward everyone--even to the ones who are considered flashy and stylish--but they're too fucking clueless to get it. Those of us who are all about substance above everything else, suffer too. But, we get it, that's the difference. We just shake our heads, hopefully learn a lesson and keep the insensitive ones at a football field's length and occasionally acknowledge them with a monotone hello or "S'up" head nod. That's it--but that's tough to do too. Especially for me since I try to look for the good in everyone. Sadly, many I come across lack even the basic, common decency needed to make them functioning members of society--yet they skate along through life, virtually unscathed. I watch in wonder, shake my head and roll my eyes. Sigh. Move along, nothing to see here anymore.

Class was crowded today, which helped me to relax. The pregnant gal was back again too--putting everyone else to shame by holding her poses like a pro and barely breaking a sweat. She's awesome and looks amazing for being 4 months along. It'll be fun to watch her yoga practice & pregnancy evolve together.

I was "posing" along swimmingly until Standing Bow. Then, it happened. My bra came apart at the strap and there was boobage spillage. I was biting my lip so hard to keep from busting out laughing that I held this pose longer even though my boob was creeping up toward my neck. Turns out that laughter is a nice complement to one's yoga practice. In fact, it's downright obsequious. I didn't get a chance to fix my wardrobe malfunction until after Balancing Stick. Yeah, that was a fun one too--boobage swaying in the wind whilst balancing on one leg & my body lookin' like the letter T. I covered up my giggles with coughs. I sat for one set of this pose and did a Rube Goldberg-esque fix of my jumblies-holder. The first time around, it held for about 3 poses, then I had to result to tying the busticated part to the other strap to keep my boobage from grazing my waist. By this time, we were onto the floor poses so having a busted bra wasn't as big an issue. What's nice about Bikram is no one really pays attention to anyone else--except me. I try to take a glance at those around me during class just to see how they're doing.

Long story short, I survived class. So did my bra. But, I do believe it's time to shell out the big bucks to get a new one. Until then, this one's for you.